Understanding my own emotions….. NOT!

Well it is about time. I know it would feel good to voice it out and share my thoughts/feeling with others like it always does.

Background: since the morning of 25th January thousands of protestors flooded the streets of Cairo, Alexandria, Suez and many other Egyptian cities asking…. hmmmm many things actually before asking let me first say they are expressing impatience and showing that they are fed up with unemployment, with rapid and unhealthy increase in prices, with injustice and many other complains and then they are asking, asking for the government to step down, asking for a change.

More Background: I have been following the news on multiple sources, be it international sources “The Guardian” or local/Arabic news as well as what is being shared on Facebook and YouTube. There are trusted sources and seemingly realistic news and there are dramatic ones that I can’t for a fact say untrusted but I also can’t personally validate.

Even More Background: My family and I are booked to go to Egypt this weekend where my wife and my son will go to meet my extended family for the first time and we will attend my brother’s wedding.

This Blog: I am in tears, and getting really emotional every time I see a video or hear a Radio interview. It is bringing a side of me that I don’t understand and it is confusing me. I can’t stop myself. And I don’t even know why the tears are. Is it anger, Fear, Frustration? Is it hope or happiness? Is it me just being selfish and worried about my trip being cancelled? Or concerned for my brother’s wedding? I really don’t know.

Then it hit me, it is Nationalism. Something about nationalism and me we don’t get along. I remember once I was watching the famous water fountain in Vegas and one of the songs played was the American national anthem and I could see my reaction to it. And then I started going down memory lane and found all these conversations or encounters I had with either groups or individual who a very strong nationalistic view and I remembered how I couldn’t relate and couldn’t bear. I can’t say that this is the only reason but I am close to sure that this is a major contributor.

The other part was the overwhelming anger and destruction the beating and back and forth fighting extending to killing in some incidents, the advice given from followers of other countries on how to obstruct the police and how to overtake this office and that office. I found all that overwhelming I found it hard to digest.

at the end I want to give thanks to my wife who understood my emotions and helped me calm down, helped me think with clarity and helped me remember that they are all carrying out God’s plan, it is hard cause it is still home and I am still somehow attached to it but at the end of the day I do believe that the old world order is falling and disintegrating to give way to the new world order.


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