Before I start, I have to say this is not an original Idea of mine. I.e. I didn’t come up with it nor invent it. Nevertheless, that doesn’t stop me from sharing it in my own words.
I guess the title Kind of says it all but being the talkative person I am I will take joy in explaining the obvious. We never plan to fall unless you are bungee jumping (bad joke) but yeah seriously we don’t, it just happens outside of our control I.e. we are not responsible. In the same way, falling in love is something that happens to us. we contribute nothing in the process other than reacting to the fall, racing heart rates, sleepless nights, butterflies in the stomach etc. etc. it is all happening to us and we are just reacting but not in any way responsible.
If falling in love happens to us without us interfering then falling out of it is the natural thing to happen next, also without us interfering. It will happen to us, we will find ourselves suddenly “not in love” anymore or even forgetting why we loved that person in the first place. Moreover, even go as far as to question, “did we even love that person or was it an illusion” but the important part is we fell, be it in or out it just happened and we did not make it happen.
It just makes things easier doesn’t it? We won’t have to take responsibility for our failing relationships nor take credit for our successful ones. Because they just happen. I remember one of my friends asking “why do I always fall in love with bad guys” and I have to say she wasn’t the only one who made such comment and in my head it was always because it happened to them and they had nothing to do with it.
Being in love, and I can’t begin to claim to know what that means but from the name if you are being in love with someone you become loving, caring, responsive. You take actions, you do things that someone in love would do, you help, you remember anniversaries and buy presents, you are BEING in love, it is a state of being that you create and you have control over it. In addition, when you are being in love, you are responsible, you make life happen rather than react to life as it happens to you. if you are being in love you can take credit for a working relationship and even share your learning with others to help them with their relationships and if you are in a relationship that doesn’t work you take responsibility for why it doesn’t and acknowledge your share of the process and as you realize that you’re responsible, you can then make the choice to work on it and restore it.
May we all be in love so we stop falling out of it.