“perspective” “point of view” “someone else’s shoes” “childhood” “memories” “growth” “knowledge” “patience”
The line above just represents thoughts and feelings that go through my mind as I talk about this subject, parenting.
The last time I wrote was a while ago, and the last time I wrote about parenting “he’s just another person” was even a longer while ago. I guess to some degree I had lots happening in the parenting space but no clear thoughts to share. My little boy is almost two and a half years old. Since the last time I wrote, he moved houses (with us, his parents), he got a baby sister (3 months old now) and he started kindergarten a few days a week. Minor changes in the life of a toddler…. NOT!
Most recently I started to feel like I am losing the fun in parenting. I always wanted to be a parent because I thought I would make a great father, but most recently I feel so unqualified and my son has to pay the price. I always resented the term “terrible twos” I still don’t subscribe to it, but it is fair to say I have been experiencing a number of terrible moments with my boy, Power struggle occupies the top of the list. (Why can’t he just do as he’s told?!)
Awakening 1: I started asking myself, “how would it feel?” if I woke up every morning to a house run by Giants, at least five times my size! They control all the resources in the house, they make all the decisions to be made and they dictate every aspect of my life. …. SCARY isn’t it!!! well sometimes these Giants are peaceful and tame but you can never tell when they turn their faces, they are very unpredictable, one moment I am asked to go play with my toys and the next moment I am asked to sit and eat, but then if I am hungry later I am not allowed to eat and I have to brush my teeth and go to bed. There is of course the occasional getting strapped into a moving vehicle for an unpredictable length of time with a surprise destination. sometimes the destination is small people’s’ heaven where all the giants gather together in a corner busy with each other while I get to play and run about, but then that almost always ends abruptly and I have to get strapped again in that same vehicle. Other times the destination is like a maze full of Giants running a round pushing cool 4 wheeler baskets, but if I try to push it in the same way I get told off. They get to pick stuff and throw them in the basket but I am always asked not to do the same with the stuff I pick. The list could go on.
Awakening 2: I remembered. I was a child once. A very aware child. At a very young age I judged my parents and all other adults around me, including but not limited to, teachers, uncles and aunties. I had certain opinions about certain things they said or did, but my overall observation was that they are CLUELESS! They have no idea what I want, how I feel about what they say or do, and my perception was that they didn’t even care! (I am almost thankful my parents won’t get to read this, because I am pretty sure they believed otherwise)
Awakening 2 continues: I didn’t just remember the adults around me, their actions and how I felt about them. I REMEMBERED ME!!
I remembered how I tossed in bed forever every night trying to find a comfortable position to sleep. I remembered how much fun it was to throw stuff over the roof, cut paper into confetti and throw it out of the window. I remembered how enjoyable it was to push and swing my chair back and forth while leaning on the dining table, I remembered how enjoyable it was to bite on my pencil or chew my eraser. I remembered so much of what I enjoyed and was frowned upon by at the time “GIANTS”, and now I am the Giant!!
Since I went through these two awakenings I started to act differently. I started treating my little boy as close as possible to how I remember I wanted to be treated, while at the same time offer the same level of education and guidance I feel compelled to offer as a farther. The journey is only just starting but over a short few weeks, there is certainly some progress and the terrible moments are reducing significantly.
Thanks for reading, please share your thoughts and till I see you again in another blog, have a lovely time.