Ear Wax

As I promised you all, in this blog I will share about the most recent listening experience I had. Of course what I listened to is not to be shared but the experience I personally went through in the process is mine to share.
Not sure how appealing you’d find the title of this blog, yet it is very relevant to what I am about to share with you.
When we listen to others it is most useful when the act of listening is focused on the speaker, when what they say is our focus, and how they feel is what we try to empathise with. It is important to monitor how much of ourselves we bring into the process.
Last week, I had the privilege of being invited to the lives of four wonderful individuals as they shared their journey. The journeys were very diverse, the backgrounds were different. Some people reacted differently to very similar upbringing, some of them developed strength through their experiences and others were challenged by it.
It was interesting to hear the different words the participants used to describe a situation or an emotion. Some were very descriptive, some were very abstract. Also interesting to hear how some of the stories were factual with “this is what happened” and others had nothing no connection to reality but rather the interpretation of the speaker.
Ear wax is the much of me that got involved in listening. I found myself picking up on areas where the speaker is changing the facts into interpretation, indirectly demanding them to focus on what actually happened. I also found myself picking up on some of the stories where the speakers decided to be the victims of the reality around them rather than take control. And a few other things.
The process was profound on multiple levels, realizing my “ear wax” while listening was not an easy one, and when I realized it, controlling how much of it gets in the way was another interesting exercise. More profoundly was realizing the impact on the speaker when my ear wax got out of control. How that affected their ability to feel heard, to feel validated, or to even listen back to any insight or reflection.
I guess the journey is just starting, the act of listening has many dimensions, some I might be aware of and others I need to learn, some I could be strong at and others I need to develop and avoid the ear wax, getting in the way.


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